Race car driver Jeff Gordon, rocker Ozzy and Coach Ditka among worst Cubs crooners

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BY PHILIP POTEMPA ppotempa@nwitimes.com 219.852.4327 | Saturday, July 12, 2008 | (No comments posted.)

Take them out

Good friend Ann Scamerhorn reminded me that this summer marks the 100th anniversary of the baseball stadium staple, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

The blogging author of the Web site www.toptenz.net decided that since this beloved ditty has hit the century mark, it's only fitting to share a "Top 10 List" of the worst renditions of this song as performed by notables over the years. Of course, everyone already knows Roseanne Barr still has a lock on the title of "worst version of our National Anthem," when angry, booing fans at a July 1990 Cincinnati Reds-San Diego Padres baseball game in San Diego nearly tore her limb from limb after she purposely shrieked into the microphone and echoing backfeed was ear-piercing.

"This favorite sing-a-long to America’s pastime has been a staple of the seventh-inning stretch in many baseball parks, but none more famous than the performances given at Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs," the blogger writes.

"My Dad is a Cubs fan, so I remember watching on WGN. The song was always led by the late Harry Caray. While he began singing 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' originally as an announcer for the Chicago White Sox in the 1970s, he moved on to Wrigley Field and sang it from 1982 until 1997. After his death in 1998, celebrities began taking their turns. And that's where our list begins. Because musical tastes are so different, these singing efforts are in no particular order. (OK, Ozzy really was the worst.) Take a look at my Top 10 Worst 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' performances at Wrigley, but have your fingers ready to place in your ears."

1. Ozzy Osbourne, the aging rock star who not only slurs his words when he talks but also when he signs. He even slurs when he's slurring.

2. Jeff Gordon, the pretty-boy race car driver who not only was a lousy singer but also started off by telling fans: "It's great to be here at Wrigley STADIUM." Um, er Jeff? Try Wrigley FIELD next time.

3. Coach Mike Ditka, of Chicago Bears fame. Da Coach seemed to confuse yelling with singing. He most likely made every kid under age 10 wet his or herself by the end of the first line of lyrics.

4. Eddie Veder, lead singer of Pearl Jam, who delivered this verse: "If they don't win it's a game." I think you mean "shame," as in, it's a shame we have to listen to you sing this.

5. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys football star and beaux of Jessica Simpson, who is just lousy off the field, when microphone is in hand.

6. William Hung, (who???), a first-round finalist from Fox's "American Idol." Now we really know what Simon Cowell was talking about.

7. Kellie Pickler, another "American Idol" massacre moment, including her lousy southern accent singing wrong lyrics like "Buy me some POPCORN and Cracker Jacks" rather than the correct "PEANUTS and Cracker Jacks."

8. Mark Grace, former Chicago Cubs first baseman-turned-announcer who is also, apparently, tone deaf.

9. Danica Patrick, race car driver and protege of David Letterman, whose singing voice sounds a lot like tires squealing.

10. Devin Hester, Chicago Bear aka "mama's boy pitching Campbell's Chunky Soup," who should stay on the football field. A tongue-tied Hester flubbed more lyrics than one could imagine, such as: "I don't care never I ... I never gots back."

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. He can be reached at ppotempa@nwitimes.com or 219.852.4327.

celebBirthdays

Actor Tab Hunter is 77. Actor Bob McGrath ("Sesame Street") is 75. Fashion designer Giorgio Armani is 74. Singer Jeff Hanna of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band is 61. Ventriloquist Jay Johnson ("Soap") is 59. Actor Bruce McGill ("Animal House") and singer Bonnie Pointer of the Pointer Sisters are 58. Actor Stephen Lang is 56. Actress Mindy Sterling ("Austin Powers") and boxing champ Leon Spinks are 55. Actress Sela Ward is 52. Singer Peter Murphy of Bauhaus and reggae singer Michael Rose of Black Uhuru are 51. Child star Mark Lester ("Oliver") is 50. Guitarist Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi and singer Suzanne Vega are 49. Actress Lisa Rinna ("Dancing with the Stars," "Days of Our Lives") is 45. Bassist Scott Shriner of Weezer is 43. Actress Debbe Dunning ("Home Improvement") and actor Greg Grunberg ("Heroes," "Alias," "Felicity") are 42. Actor Justin

Chambers ("Grey's Anatomy") is 38. Actor Michael Rosenbaum ("Smallville") is 36. Rapper Lil Kim is 33. Singer Ben Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie is 32. Rapper Lil' Zane is 26. Swedish singer Maria Serneholt of The A*Teens is 24.

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