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BY OLIVIA CLARKE
oclarke@nwitimes.com
219.933.4078 | Monday, June 27, 2005 | (No comments posted.)
When she found out her daughter was gay, Jo Ellen Clarkson worried about her daughter's safety.
When her daughter, Nick, suggested she attend PFLAG meetings, she felt better after going. She discovered Nick could lead a safe, normal life, the Griffith mother said.
"There were adults there. They have normal lives, and they didn't seem to have those kind of problems in the workplace," Clarkson said. "It seemed like things were going pretty well for them."
She learned her daughter was gay after reading Nick's journal entries from a personal magazine she distributed while in high school. Nick went on to start a Gay-Straight Alliance at Griffith High School because she wanted to make a difference.
Jo Ellen Clarkson said all high schools should have some form of support for gay students.
"I think unfortunately that is not something high schools are willing to deal with," Clarkson said. "I don't know if they are fearful that it will single out students more and people will retaliate. I am not sure what their thoughts are."
Many local gay teens said they are looking for a place where they can find support and understanding without being afraid to be themselves.
Support groups exist either nationally or locally to answer parents' questions and offer understanding. But local teens, parents and community workers said they wish this area had more to choose from.
One avenue is the Hammond/Northwest Indiana PFLAG, which has a goal of supporting the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people and their families and friends. The group meets monthly.
When parents learn their children are gay, many worry how family and friends will react to the news, local spokesman Dick Royal said. PFLAG can help them talk about those concerns and get ideas from other people who have gone through similar experiences, he said.
"It certainly gives parents a chance to talk to other parents, which is nice," Clarkson said. "There is no pressure and no watching what you say."
Andrea Deese-Shepard, HIV/AIDS prevention program coordinator at Aunt Martha's Youth Service Center in Park Forest, Ill., said her organization runs two Gay and Lesbians Advocating Diversity groups for young people.
When people first attend they are looking for a safe place that won't judge them, Deese-Shepard said.
"They are generally looking for someone who will embrace who they are," she said. "They don't have that support mechanism at home or with their friends. Some of them are truly struggling with things."
Some high schools have Gay-Straight Alliances to provide a safe and supportive environment for lesbian, bisexual, gay and transgendered young people and their supporters.
Munster teen Mary Carp helped start a Gay-Straight Alliance last spring at her high school. Each meetings drew about 40 people.
"I kind of felt like if we could let other people know they are not alone, then they could come out and people wouldn't be so surprised and have such a negative reaction," Mary said.
Mostly adults attend the Metropolitan Community Church Illiana, which meets in Hobart each Sunday, but all are welcome, said the Rev. Angie Thinnes. People from Illinois, Indiana and Michigan attend. The church helps provide another support system for gay people because not enough exist in the community, she said.
She said many people in the area are afraid to admit they are gay.
Laws to protect gay people from harassment, firings or the loss of their homes are insufficient, she said.
Teens also face a difficult situation because they do not have a place to turn, she said.
"A lot of churches are still teaching that (being gay) is wrong."
Local support services
-- This is a sampling of the local efforts available for gay teens and their families.
* Aunt Martha's Youth Service Center
GLAD, or Gays and Lesbians Advocating Diversity. One group for people ages 14 to 19 meets at 6 p.m. Thursdays. Another group for people ages 20 to 25 meets at 7 p.m. Wednesdays. To learn more, call (708) 679-8129.
* Hammond/Northwest Indiana PFLAG
The group meets at 1:30 p.m. on the fourth Sunday of each month at Woodmar United Methodist Church, 173rd Street and Southeastern Avenue in Hammond. The time might change. Email hammondpflag@aol.com or call (219) 845-2195.
* Metropolitan Community Church Illiana
Meetings are at 4:30 p.m. Sundays at 497 Main St., Hobart. Visit www.mccchurch.org.
* The Aliveness Project of Northwest Indiana
A nonprofit service for those infected and affected by HIV and AIDS in Lake, Porter and LaPorte counties. The group offers case management services, prevention services, HIV counseling and testing, substance abuse counseling for those who are HIV-positive, prevention programs for women of color, and HIV and AIDS awareness programs. For information, call (800) 293-7312. The main office is at 5490 Broadway, Suite L3, Merrillville. There are also offices in Gary, East Chicago and Michigan City.
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